JOBs (judgements, opinions, beliefs)

Like most I suspect — it ultimately all comes down to money logic. So many tendrils to unplug, detach from, false-positive rationale to distill. But you can rest assured in knowing that if your ego says it's not possible that's only another opportunity to leap forward and lighten the mental load.

If you stare long enough into the abyss, the abyss will stare back into you.

If my “Infinite I” would have provided me with the type of money fear experiences I'm distilling today it would have likely destroyed me as a player. I mean, the early days of my cocoon I was afraid to check the mailbox. In an instant, one day, literally, lost thirty years of fervent for my career. It felt as if I'd lost all passion to work and produce surplus in support the industrial model in any form. It was like something unplugged me and there was no way to plug back in. So for me there was never this deliberative event causing me to exit the theater until after the fact. I was drug out of Plato’s Cave kicking and screaming, objecting and cursing. I was thrown out on my ass; door to the cave disappeared. And I just accepted that once outside, more terrified than ever. I haven't really worked in nearly ten years now and there has never been a dull moment I can say that.

This is why I surmise the Infinite I model works so thoroughly. Mainstay spiritual practices make promises they can't keep because at the very heart they idealise the core values of theater beliefs which still maintain and celebrate the moral socio-economic order. In the II model this is the very thing one attacks and dismantles. The butterfly model is for obvious reasons quite radical. Like explosive demolition of an old skyscraper is so instantaneously clear once the charges are detonated. There's no wondering after the fact what the effort was intended to produce. That's how scrutiny of a belief works. That's why there's no turning back. You scrutinize using the model and instantaneously realize making any attempt at reconstructing delusion will only result if further decay. So it's easy to keep moving forward and remove the debris bit by bit, belief by belief.

You are very welcome.

Outside of the theater mentality way of presenting yourself, you just tell it as it is and let chips fall as they may. In other words tell the current story of you like you actually want people to see through your mask.

The questions you dread are the ones I luv to be asked. I've discovered so much support coming from people in just being honest with them about how I feel about myself and what makes me tick. Ones ego is fragile. The truth is unassailable.

It is my impression that if a person has begun scrutinizing the morality of the theater as it sounds like you are its just a matter of time before you slip on the proverbial banana peel and begin peeling that ego onion.

You can run the process on the hangover. But you'll go nowhere with it while you're in the theater - but round and round with the rest of the herd. 

In truth now, you must have a valid and sincere reason for exiting the theater. Becoming a butterfly isn't a sustainable reason. Most seek escapism, not evolution.

The next step is indeed a harsh piece of personal business. You won't solve anything on this level. You've got to move to the next one — Jed Mckenna

That's the exit door. That's where you can get real with yourself. That's where real change can occur.